This is my space and these are my thoughts

have you ever noticed that once someone becomes unavailable or when you know that they like someone, they take on a whole new....i dunno...they seem different to you? Has that ever happened? I don't know...lately a few of my frens have gotten girlfriends and boyfriends and u know, u just start noticing things about them that you've never noticed before. I guess...until you realize that they have the capability of liking someone, there's this aspect of them that stays hidden from you. Everything stays so platonic until you realize that they are MALES and some people actually see potential in them to be boyfriends! Really, I'm not saying that my guy friends aren't boyfriend material. It's just that I don't see them as bf material because they're my friends and nothing else. As for the girls, I'm so totally jealous! But back to the guys, once I found out they are going out with someone/like someone, I guess I start noticing things about them that I never noticed before.

*sigh* I'm so...lonely. Honestly, am I really such a bad person that no one can like me? Are guys really so shallow that they can't look past my physical appearance and see the person I am inside? Or am I really a bad person on the inside too? Birthday's coming up. I'm supposed to become an adult but there seems to be so much that I still haven't done with my life. So far, it seems like I've totally wasted my life....never had a job, never had a boyfriend, what have I done for my community? nothing...*sigh* oh the joys of being me.

btw, here's another birthday idea for anyone reading (hm...is it really only one person that reads this?). This is something that people don't seem to know. Mainly cuz the group of people I hang out with now didn't know me well back when I pretty much announced it to the world. Anyway, I like flowers. I love flowers. They're so...pretty and the petals are so silky. Hehe, I know...I'm a mushy person at heart, what can I say? *sigh* haven't gotten any in a while tho...hmm....my dream? the have a bouquet of blue roses from a fob store. Honestly, they are so beautiful!

Ok...keep fit and have fun.

posted by j.why @ 10:26 PM 0 comments

*sigh* and *sigh* again. I had my calc and data math tests today and I'm sooo scared I bombed both of them. I dunno, I'm giving up on getting 90 in calc. I mean...well...if Super Mathy Guy (mentioned in an earlier blog) only got 93, what are my chances of getting 90? Darn that Bin for being so smart and getting a 90 in calc with Kuriyama or however you spell her name. Man...I did the x^6-y^6 like the x^5-y^5 one when I really didn't need to. *sigh* therefore I screwed it up. There goes 4 marks. And some more marks off of my TIPS for that games question. And more marks off of knowledge/skills for thinking the x^3 was x^2 and solving like that. And these are only the mistakes I do know about. I don't wanna kno about how my score will be after the one's I don't know about.

Darn that Grieve! He teaches to use sample in the class but he uses population in the test? Like...what??!! Think he will still takes marks off of everyone if the majority of the people used sample? He can't, can he? It's not that we're dumb, it's that he didn't teach it properly! Grrr so far I only know of 4 ppl who used population, and one of those fruits doesn't even do his homework! ARG! That's so frustrating. Some people have to try so hard to get mediocre marks whereas others hardly try at all and excel at everything they do.

Speaking of Bin (uh...a little earlier), I kinda miss the talks we used to have. Funny how he used to tell me how he thinks this guy's cute and that guy's pretty good looking. HAHA, yes, I know your not gay! (Hmm...once again, Baby Pixie is talking directly to people who don't read her blog. I guess I'm still a little sick after all). Thing I never understand is why he always wants me to call him my kai gor. He's younger than me! I'm the big god sister here! It's the height thing, isn't it? Isn't it??!! LOL

*sigh* Well, off to see Daredevil soon! Yay, hot Ben Affleck and Colin Farrell. *Sigh* I love British guys. Mmm...Colin Farrell and Orlando Bloom in a movie together...*Dreamy Eyed Look* *Triple sigh*.

*sigh* I'll wait for that day. In the meantime, Affleck and Farrell together is good enough for me!


When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother, 'What will I be?
'Will I be pretty?
'Will I be rich?'
Here's what she said to me:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'

When I grew up and fell in love,
I asked my sweetheart, 'What lies ahead?
'Will we have rainbows
'day after day?'
Here's what my sweetheart said:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'

Now I have children of my own,
They ask their mother, 'What will I be?
'Will I be handsome?
'Will I be rich?'
I tell them tenderly:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'

Gee, now wasn't Doris Das a smart lady?

posted by j.why @ 9:18 PM 0 comments

warg! ho sun foo ah! I'm sick and i have 2 (read it, TWO!) tests tomorrow that i need to study for. I really can't afford to be taking breaks but I really need this or else I'll go crazy. Still can't figure out the username to my other blog and it's bugging me like crazy! another thing that's totally bugging me is that i can't figure out how the heck you factor x^5-y^5. Uh....can you say geek? I know, I know, but it's really bugging me. Besides, Peter said that in order to really do well in math, u need to fully understand it right? Well, if I wanna get more than 67% (which is what I got on my first quiz), I better start understanding and fast! Stupid Peter, help me! help me! Haha, like he reads my blog in the first place!

But hey, a girl's allowed to be weird when she's sick.

Haha "little guy". Funny how Ms. Rine has to point out everything we do. I just didn't understand that pencil thing, ok? Weird looks are allowed to be passed between people. Especially when I'm sick and therefore, am allowed to be weird. Weird looks go very well with weird-acting girls.

Wow, I like what I just said to dumcat. "I need a break or else I'm gonna break". Haha, oh the double meaning of words. What's it called again? Denotation? Annotation? Ah well, English is over, I don't hafta worrie about that. But some people still do! Haha dumcat. Very lame statement but very true.

Ok, weirdness done for today. If I blog any longer, I'll just ramble on forever and not get back to work.


"Until next time, keep fit and have fun!"
- Hal Johnson and Johanne McCleod from those Body Break commercials

posted by j.why @ 10:56 PM 0 comments

arg!! i'm so frustrated right now! calculus and killing me, i haven't had time to do data yet and prolly won't have time tonight and i can't figure out my username to my other blog!

yes, i have another blog. Actually, i made that one long before i had this one. feel free to visit it at baby_pixie.blogspot.com. I must warn you though, there really isn't anything there and I can't figure out my user name! got any suggestions? feel free to tell me. sigh, i signed up for a tagboard today. i think they're cool but currently, they're down for some reason. ah well, it's not like i can get up until felix does it for me anyway. yep...i give my password out to ppl. Well, technically i don't but it's not hard to figure out. Really.

anyways...i guess i should go back to work...or back to trying to figure out my other blog's username

posted by j.why @ 1:08 AM 0 comments

well...see...I think I might have messed up a friend's application to Trinity College in UT. I feel so horrible right now cuz he's already worried about his iBBA application to York. However, he actually really wants to get into Trinity. *sigh* But my question is, would that little mistake make such a big difference when it comes down to it all? I mean, yes, it is a grammar mistake but those kinds of mistakes don't hold as much importance as they once did. Even in grade 12 English, teachers looked more for content than for grammar. Unless the mistakes were so horribly bad that the piece becomes illegible, the teacher usually passes over the small mistakes and moves onto looking at the quality of the points being made. So, I guess what I'm saying is that he shouldn't worry so much. The quality of his piece as a whole was really good. So good that a teacher even asked to see him tomorrow about it.

I dunno, the way his N/A message sounds right now, it's as if he blames himself. I don't see it as his fault, it's probably more like mine because I was the last person to edit it and I should have picked up that mistake. *sigh* And it's making me feel all the worse because he's beating himself up so badly over it. *sigh* Well, not like he ever reads my blog but in the slight chance that he does, I'm really sorrie!

I know, I really don't blog as often as when I first got blogger. But I guess that's just my blog style. Stay away for ages and then come on and blast up the page with a hella long blog.

On to other worries, school has been poo. I'm so scared about my calculus marks and I've only had one quiz. But if that quiz is an indicator of how I'm going to be doing in that course, then I won't be getting into university anytime soon. *sigh* a 67%? I have a test coming up Friday and I'm terrified that I'll do just as bad as my quiz or worse. This isn't one of those no-reason worries. My math skills are rusty at the best. As well, if someone who's super good in math only got 93% with Snowball, who's an easy teacher, what are my chances of getting 90% with Colarusso? I know, I should have faith in myself and I really do try my best to think positive, but no matter how hard I try, there's always this niggling fear at the back of my mind.

Maybe I can drop either accounting or economics so that I can spend more time doing math. But for the time being, I'll keep those courses and see how they go. BTW, I was one of the two that got the MC right on the acc quiz. Go me! But back to my real topic, I don't want to drop a course if I'll be leaving someone to do an ISP on their own. If I drop accounting, I risk the chance of ditching Peter. That is, unless he decides to drop too. If I drop economics, I risk the chance of ditching Fiona and I know she's not going to be dropping econ. *sigh* What to do, what to do?

Speaking of acc and econ, I know Ms. Rine thinks that I'm a good student and that she likes me but does she need to poke fun at me so often? Well, maybe if it was about another subject, then I wouldn't mind so much. But love, like and affections...those words cut deep. I guess it goes back to my whole insecurity/depression/loneliness issue. Is it smart to tease a person who has never had a bf but desperately wants one? *sigh* And if I blush when she says that, it's does not mean that I like Peter. On the contrary, it just reminds me of how I've never had a bf and that such teasing pretty much doesn't apply to me at all. Yes, yes, she's got a good heart, I understand but it's time to move on. I love the dude but...it's....him.... What can I say?

Speaking of love, I'm so sad that I probably won't have a date for prom. Not even one that will go with me as a friend. I mean, how pathetic is that? *sigh* I guess it's the whole growing up in Canada thing. I've been so wrapped up in North American culture and prom has always treated as the highlight of high school, that I've put a lot of importance into it and I want it to be perfect. And yes, perfect to me would include a date. Ideally, I'd like to go with a guy that I like but like that's ever gonna happen. So I'll settle with just going with a friend. Except...I don't have any friends who aren't already taken or who don't already have someone in mind that they'd like to go with. *sigh* It sucks to be the kind if girl that guys wanna "just be friends" with me. So...anyone reading this, if you know a guy who's sweet and available, tell him I need a date for the prom!

So tired, I've hardly gotten any sleep since second semester started. Darn first period class...grrrr! This week has been so much worse cuz I slept at like 4:30 Monday or Sunday night (can't even remember anymore) cuz I was talking on the phone and that has just totally messed up my sleeping habits for the rest of the week. I always say that I will correct it come weekend time but like that ever happens. Anyways, time for me to stop wasting time blogging and start spending time doing homework! Darn that homework!

posted by j.why @ 10:29 PM 0 comments