This is my space and these are my thoughts

I think I screwed up my calculus test. Well, what do I expect when I didn't start studying until 1:30 am? *sigh*

Why does it seem as if everyone is looking for a prom date right now? Me? Do I have a date? No...*sigh* the biggest night of my life and I don't have a date. If I don't have a date, I don't even know if I'm going but gawd, I don't want to miss prom! I just don't want to sit at a table full of couples if I'm going to be the only one going stag. Even if I find a friend to be my date, I would prefer that so much over going alone. Backups? Sure, I have guy friends but most are either taken or have dates in mind already. *sigh* Even the one I counted on being my date backed out. I don't blame him, I'm certainly not gonna be mad if he wants to go with somebody else. As for that someone people keep saying I should go with cuz we're such "close" friends, well, how close can we be if he's willing to just ignore me like this? Besides, there are other *circumstances that would make me uncomfortable going with him, not implying anything bad about them *winks* = )

I'm debating whether or not I should do any homework. For once, I'm not stressing over hmwk cuz I only have data and binomials aren't that hard. I'm sure I can wait till tomorrow or something.

I feel so abandoned. I know I have friends who care about me but I can't help but feel so insecure. It's almost as if I'm destined to have every single aspect of my life mess up. With pressures and stress from school and my personal life, I can't see a future for myself. When I'm with people, I don't have time to think like this but when I get home and I'm alone...I honestly have too much time to think.

Grad trip...everyone wants to go somewhere different. We've got our sports adventure people, our metropolis people, our resort people, sight-seers, beach bums - everyone has somewhere different in mind to go. My ideal trip? A cruise or somewhere in Europe but with the war on now, who knows what will happen 3 months down the road? Besides, having people limiting the budget to about $500 doesn't give us a lot of choices of places to go.

Where's my dinner, dumcat?

posted by j.why @ 11:17 PM 0 comments

It's approaching 10pm, I have two tests tomorrow and I haven't begun studying yet. *sigh* I just can't bring myself to care right now. I know I'll regret it in the future but I just...not now.

kobe....he's beginning to not eat...he's actually leaving his food there until I come downstairs and feed it to him. =( I don't it to be so soon!!!

popcorn chicken and rice...a good combination? I'm not sure...they're both good on their own, though the popcorn chicken got kinda dry after I retoasted them.

i want to cry. i need to cry but i can't. at a time when i most need to vent and to let out my emotions, it just won't happen. *sigh* talk about having screwed up hormones.

ok...i understand some girls feel depressed during their period but how long is it supposed to be that they still feel like that after their period ends? it's been about half a week and i still feel like crap. it is because of pms? because of something else?

*sigh*

*sigh*

and

*double sigh*

posted by j.why @ 9:56 PM 0 comments

Now entering day 3. I'm miserable! It's making me physically sick! I'm having trouble breathing and I feel like I'm about to throw up all the time. I hope I don't come down with the flu...or atypical pneumonia.

My dad's travelling to all three places where SARS has hit the hardest, HK, China, Vietnam. I hope he's okay.

Only 20 minutes into my brother's birthday and he already demanded that i say happy birthday to him. Hmm....

I'm feeling so numb all the time now. I can't bring myself to concentrate on school and I have so much to do. What should I do? I need to get away. I need to go far away and be alone.

posted by j.why @ 12:48 AM 0 comments

I'm so miserable right now. I feel as if someone is ignoring me or purposely hurting me when they are talking to me but I don't even know what I've done to deserve it. And I also found out today that someone close to me lied to me. Perhaps it was to protect my feelings or something but I still don't like it. And I'm sorry if I'm one of those contributors of worry to someone else. I truly don' t mean to cause any worry or stress but the way I feel, I can't help it either.

It seems as if every aspect of my life is messing up. My academics are slipping because of calculus and it's not like that is a course that I can just drop, like an elective. I regret applying to so few programs and half of them with such high cut-off rates. True, my marks can't exactly be considered bad but they won't get me into the programs I applied to. My social life has gone to hell after only about a month of relative stability. My love life...well everyone knows that that's non-existent and how lonely that makes me. I'm so...*sigh*. I usually try to hide it when I'm sad but it's become so hard when I have such a heavy weight pushing on my heart.

I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. I honestly tried to cheer up today but no matter how much I tried to forget my troubles or how much I tried to talk myself out of this, I just couldn't get out of my funk.

I wish I could just hole up somewhere and forget. I wish I could live happily, be an optimist. I don't have any motivation to do anything anymore. I feel as if I need to force myself to do anything.

I'm so sick and tired of life.

posted by j.why @ 9:37 PM 0 comments

And this is what i picked up from Chapter 15 of my accounting textbook. It's talking about what qualifies as an extraordinary event on an Income Statement.
"4 The destruction of an airplane of a major airline by a terrorist attack"
Does this sound familiar? A little reminiscent of 9/11, non? Except this textbook was written in 1991! What, is destroying airplanes that common of a terrorist activity that they would even have it in a textbook? Strange.

posted by j.why @ 10:44 PM 0 comments