This is my space and these are my thoughts

I'm so miserable right now. I feel as if someone is ignoring me or purposely hurting me when they are talking to me but I don't even know what I've done to deserve it. And I also found out today that someone close to me lied to me. Perhaps it was to protect my feelings or something but I still don't like it. And I'm sorry if I'm one of those contributors of worry to someone else. I truly don' t mean to cause any worry or stress but the way I feel, I can't help it either.

It seems as if every aspect of my life is messing up. My academics are slipping because of calculus and it's not like that is a course that I can just drop, like an elective. I regret applying to so few programs and half of them with such high cut-off rates. True, my marks can't exactly be considered bad but they won't get me into the programs I applied to. My social life has gone to hell after only about a month of relative stability. My love life...well everyone knows that that's non-existent and how lonely that makes me. I'm so...*sigh*. I usually try to hide it when I'm sad but it's become so hard when I have such a heavy weight pushing on my heart.

I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. I honestly tried to cheer up today but no matter how much I tried to forget my troubles or how much I tried to talk myself out of this, I just couldn't get out of my funk.

I wish I could just hole up somewhere and forget. I wish I could live happily, be an optimist. I don't have any motivation to do anything anymore. I feel as if I need to force myself to do anything.

I'm so sick and tired of life.

posted by j.why @ 9:37 PM