This is my space and these are my thoughts

once again, i was up late doing absolutely nothing. well, not nothing. it took me until 5 in the morning but i read through all the blogs that i've written since i've gotten this blog and i must say, i've been a really depressed person. it's just so surprising how so much changed in just a few months. for the longest time, i lived each day in depression - for almost six months actually. so much happened and so much changed in my life. what can i say? i'm not really good at coping with change.

*sigh* For some reason, it seems that just when things start to go my way, they start going all wrong again. I had about a month of relative happiness and now, once again, I seem to be falling back into depression. It's hard to stay optimistic if everything in your life is spiralling downwards. I wake up with a heavy heart, carry it around for the day, and I go to sleep with an even heavier heart. There is so much that I need to let out but what good will that do when I know that it will just make things worse?

On a lighter note, I saw Cradle 2 the Grave today. I don't understand what significance the title has to the movie cuz i don't see any connection at all. I love Jet Li. Honestly, since the good old days when he played "Wong Fei Hong" I've thought he was soo....wow. I know, he's old and short but man...men that can fight like that can never look bad.

Once again, I'm home by midnight. I'm glad I finally got my dim sum but I still want dim sum for dinner. Mmm...that would be good. I haven't talked on the phone in ages. No one's called in a while. When you have a phone to your ear and someone on the other line, you don't really realize how empty and quiet your house is.

*sigh* I hate being a Piscean. The whole empathetic thing isn't working out for me. I know it's supposed to be a good thing that I feel whatever people close to me are feeling but do I hafta feel so depressed? I mean, I was relatively happy for a couple weeks, why can't it stay that way?

*sigh* Lilo and Stitch is on satellite. Maybe that will pick me up? Hopefully my satellite card is working and this weather hasn't messed it up.


"falling in love with you
is like taking a bullet
for the person
I
wanted
to
be"

posted by j.why @ 12:45 AM