This is my space and these are my thoughts

I realize I've already blogged once today but I've got some serious ranting to do. I've got serious beef with those middle-aged office ladies I've been working with for the last four months. Women, you are in your forties or fifties, I'm sure that's enough time to learn to flush the toilet after you've done your deed!

No one needs to see that your bowels have exploded into the toilet. No one needs to accidentally sit down on your pee because they can't squat for that long over a pee-spattered toilet seat. I used to think leaving feces to mellow in a public toilet was only something kids did to amuse themselves as they thought about the disgust they've caused others to feel. But the last four months has proved me wrong.

I have only one questions for you: why? Are you like those kids that take pleasure in grossing out other people? Are you hesitant to flush the toilet because you don't want to touch the germ-ridden handle? Do you not look back to make sure you didn't leave a mess on the seat because you are afraid a monster is going to jump out of the toilet?

To the women who leave their poop to mellow: I know those toilets are high powered and won't clog because of your bowel movements. In my mad dash to the toilet after a large cup of coffee, I've had the unfortunate luck of encountering the only unoccupied stall that had your floating feces in the toilet bowl. But I bravely raised my foot, pressed down on the handle and flushed away your previous night's dinner.

To the innumberable squatting women: do you know the reason you are squatting is causing others to squat and thus also yourself to squat? Let me explain. You want to avoid the germs on the toilet seat, so you proceed to hover above the toilet and aim. But you miss horribly. This leaves a nice spattering of pee on the toilet seat that others have to squat to avoid coming into contact with. And of course, every subsequent person will proceed to miss the toilet bowl and be too germaphobic to clean up their mess. If you all had just sat on the toilet in the first place, us women was not be in this mess. Yes, I like to sit on my toilet. Please sit too so that I can avoid my regime of wiping twice and then lining the toilet before I pee. This regime is not conducive to the bladder-exploding times when I drink a whole cup of coffee and find out work has kept me from getting to the toilet until three hours after I feel that first tingle of needing to pee.

If for no other reason, you should be a better publish washroom person for the sake of the cleaning lady. Seriously, have you seen her? She's a little old lady with a limp! And she's slaving away in that washroom cleaning up after you middle-aged working women. Why do you try to act so professional out of the washroom and then go on to perform such atrocities behind the stall? Please, for the sake of all of us, flush, wipe, wash your hands, and get on with your day.

posted by j.why @ 1:17 AM