This is my space and these are my thoughts

Thoughts thoughts thoughts. They are the same things whether they are expressed here or on AsianAvenue or on an entirely different medium right? So many of my friends have amazing pages on AsianAvenue where they express their thoughts and feelings, along with showing off their beautiful pages. I, on the other hand, do not have the talent or patience to maintain an up-to-date AA page. While it may seem as easy as Blogger, it is not. People go to great lengths to escape the generic AA backgrounds and fonts and they succeed in doing so by producing well-crafted web spaces.

There are so many thought-provoking things that my friends write. I admire them so much because they are able to get everything out in such a way that everyone will understand it. Plus, their pages are not boring. I was never good at sharing my thoughts and so my AA page got neglected. Blogger, being so low-maintenance compared to AA, is the perfect place for me to express my thoughts.

So far, many of them have been very dark and depressing (I had another such episode today, BTW, but it's not significant enough right now to get into), but I'm hoping that I'm on the road to ending that vicious cycle.

Right now, I terribly miss some company. I have been holing myself up in my house for so long now that I'm beginning to go crazy. My plans for hot pot this weekend didn't exactly work out cuz 2 outta the 7 couldn't make it. Oh well, what can I do but to push it back? Hopefully, my natural procrastination won't get the better of me.

I'm done for today, it's getting very late. So late that it's becoming early.


Coming up in the next entry: my account of the farm field trip (baaaa), and dumcat's first model tryout (which you will also get from his blog, no doubt)

posted by j.why @ 3:32 AM 0 comments

I have just finished my application to the QLEAD and e-mailed it in without a minute to spare. You see, Tiff Yau told me about this leadership conference at Queen's University this morning and obviously, I was interested in attending. The only problem was, the deadline for the application for today! Hopefully, I didn't get my application in too late, I'd like to go to this coference. Problem is, it's $200 and I'll have to miss one day of school...oh well, it's not that bad of a trade off for such an experience right? Anyways, part of the application form was to answer four questions. Three of them were pretty standard stuff (why do you wanna attend, what leadership skills have you demonstrated, name a leader you admire, blah blah blah) but one of them was pretty bizarre: Incorporating the words jumpsuit, Popsicle, Q-tip and Shania Twain key chain, explain how you would lead an expedition to dye the world’s polar bear population blue in an attempt to make them more effective ocean predators. Hmm...and this is supposed to tell them whether or not I'm qualified to attend?

Anyway, here is my completely BSed answer to that question:
4. As the leader of the expedition to dye the world’s polar bear population blue, I will equip each team member with at least one brightly coloured jumpsuit. Besides being warm and comfortable, the bright colours will stand out against the stark whiteness of the Arctic and catch the polar bear’s attention. For those who will not have the courage to stand up to the oncoming bear, the jumpsuit will ensure fast and flexible movement for easy escape. For those who will have the courage, the jumpsuit can be easily taken off to be used as a shroud to cover the polar bear’s head. This will deter it from attacking as it becomes confused and disoriented. Once the polar bear has calmed down, team members can begin to crush the blueberry flavoured, Popsicle brand juice bars into a slush to be used to cover the bear. This will be the blue dye for the bear’s fur. Once the blue Popsicle has hardened onto the bear’s coat, it will not come off easily. To touch up any missed spots, a Q-tip can be used apply the blue slush to the white fur. Finally, a Shania Twain key chain will be attached to the ear of each polar bear. Once in the water, the bear will be completely camouflaged except for the key chain. Seals, a polar bear’s main prey, are curious animals and naturally will be drawn towards the object floating in the ocean. Once the seals are close enough, the polar bear will have targets to catch. Although this way of dying every bear one at a time may be long and tedious, the personal touch given to each animal will ensure its complete cover-up and successful camouflage.

Haha, what you do think of it? Does it demonstrate my leadership abilities? Hehe, I hope so...well my chances of getting in are pretty high right? Considering not many people at school even know about this opportunity. Sorrie guys if you just found out now, the deadline was 6 minutes ago. Hehe, not my fault, blame Tiff Yau for telling me about it this morning and blame the guidance for not even mentioning this to anyone.

I digress (famous words of Mr. Doench). Tonight was university night at my school. Not much new to learn but I wish I woulda went to all of the sessions. Skipping out on the last one seemed like a waste of a chance but when you think about it, all of the places tell you basically the same information. Heard one and you've heard them all. But still...there's that feeling that I coulda done something and didn't. Oh well, there wasn't really any one university I really wanted to attend anyway.

Darn bio test, I screwed over my skills part. Darn that "explain diagramatically". He should've just written "explain graphically", I would've known what to do then. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, it's alright. For those who do, please don't laugh at me because you interpreted right and I didn't. Well, at least I did well on my chem quiz today, at least I hope I did. Only two questions and one sided too. Maybe Irving's catching on the even the smart people are doing bad in her course.

I think this has been one of the best weeks I've had in forever. There's the farm field trip tomorrow. "Moo," says dumcat. "Quack," replies BabyPixie. Oh the funniness in the dumbness we share. I prefer "Baaaa" actually. Hehe, I should be working on Ragtime notes but I believe I will sleep instead.


Goodnight, world. Don't fall apart while I'm busy snoozing.

posted by j.why @ 12:21 AM 0 comments

Lol, I think I've figured out from reading my counter stats that um...three people read my blog! Haha, I wonder who....

posted by j.why @ 12:35 AM 0 comments

"I've learned.... that I can't choose how I feel, but I can
choose what I do about it" - Andy Rooney

I have no idea who Andy Rooney is but these words are so true. Lately I've been the most depressed I've ever felt in my life and it drove me crazy. I really can't choose how I feel because the heart does not always listen to what the brain says. I can choose how to raect to it though. I know, I haven't been the most mature person about it. Hmm...the first step of recovery is realizing you have a problem, non? I can make myself happy.

"I've learned.... that life is tough, but I'm tougher" - Andy Rooney.

I can persevere through any hardships life throws at me and come out the other side a stronger and better person. I have strength to do whatever I choose to if I truly put my mind to doing it. Tailz actually requested to talk to me today (hmm....conspiracy??). I'm hoping this indicates he doesn't still feel the way he did before?

"I've learned.... that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold
and a heart to understand" - Andy Rooney

I may not always show it but I'm so grateful for all the friends that I have. I cannot ask for a truer bunch of people. They are always there for me, even when I may not always be there for them. It doesn't matter how much or how little we may see each other, it's the feeling that's there that really counts.

"I've learned.... that it's those small daily happenings that make
life so spectacular" - Andy Rooney.

It's the little things that count. But having the big things once and a while doesn't hurt. Teehee.

For the longest time, I've been subscribed to an e-mail mailing list of inspirational writings. It's called Aiken Drum. I haven't really looked at one of these for a long time until today. Why I did? I don't know but I sure like all these little quotes. There are a lot more but I'm not gonna put them all here. It'll make my blog too long! There are so many things in life that you don't really appreciate. You know they are there at the back of your mind but sometimes, the significance of it doesn't really sink in until you see it written or hear it from someone else.

English, english, english. Finished my cahier, personal writing, and Besieged revision. Amadues notes are going great (I hope),and got my book club book today, (called The Stone Angel). I'm going to not stress myself out over this. I think I'm actually doing a great job of pacing myself.

Poor dumcat, he won't be here for Twin Day! I mean, all those comments of you and Pita looking alike are all going to waste if you can't even participate in Twin Day! Actually, I think you and your friend, Kerry (Keri? Kery? Carrie? Carry? Cary?) look more alike but he doesn't go to this school so oh well! Well, we'll have fun (staying overnight) at the farm, won't we? You can sleep with the sheep, I'll stay with the....chickens?


Off I fly to Dreamland where I'll be playing in fields of daisies with puppies roaming around my feet.

posted by j.why @ 12:33 AM 0 comments

Wow, my head is pounding like crazy! I'm sooo relieved that I've finished my Besieged response and my personal writing. I'm just taking a break now before I get cracking on my cahier. Hopefully that won't take too long because I want to read some Ragtime before I go off to sleep tonight.

I've had the hugest emotional roller coaster ride this weekend. I was so....I dunno, words can't even describe it. I'm happy to report that I've had a normal day today though (Pat on the back for Julie). I should give myself one of those sticker stars for every day that I get through normally. I can build myself a collection.

Sam Tam, I love that girl because she cracks me up like a crab. A hole the size of a mug is not small! And parking beside the car right after you rammed it is also not a good idea. Good luck on ur road test on Friday. HAHA!

Ah...I've come to accept the fact that my blog is not as popular as dumcat's. Actually, I really don't mind because I think I'd rather not have people reading my private thoughts. However, if they were strangers who didn't know me, that would be a different story. Anyways, short and sweet, gotta go finish up English now.


Remember kids, wash behind your ears.

posted by j.why @ 11:53 PM 0 comments