This is my space and these are my thoughts

well...see...I think I might have messed up a friend's application to Trinity College in UT. I feel so horrible right now cuz he's already worried about his iBBA application to York. However, he actually really wants to get into Trinity. *sigh* But my question is, would that little mistake make such a big difference when it comes down to it all? I mean, yes, it is a grammar mistake but those kinds of mistakes don't hold as much importance as they once did. Even in grade 12 English, teachers looked more for content than for grammar. Unless the mistakes were so horribly bad that the piece becomes illegible, the teacher usually passes over the small mistakes and moves onto looking at the quality of the points being made. So, I guess what I'm saying is that he shouldn't worry so much. The quality of his piece as a whole was really good. So good that a teacher even asked to see him tomorrow about it.

I dunno, the way his N/A message sounds right now, it's as if he blames himself. I don't see it as his fault, it's probably more like mine because I was the last person to edit it and I should have picked up that mistake. *sigh* And it's making me feel all the worse because he's beating himself up so badly over it. *sigh* Well, not like he ever reads my blog but in the slight chance that he does, I'm really sorrie!

I know, I really don't blog as often as when I first got blogger. But I guess that's just my blog style. Stay away for ages and then come on and blast up the page with a hella long blog.

On to other worries, school has been poo. I'm so scared about my calculus marks and I've only had one quiz. But if that quiz is an indicator of how I'm going to be doing in that course, then I won't be getting into university anytime soon. *sigh* a 67%? I have a test coming up Friday and I'm terrified that I'll do just as bad as my quiz or worse. This isn't one of those no-reason worries. My math skills are rusty at the best. As well, if someone who's super good in math only got 93% with Snowball, who's an easy teacher, what are my chances of getting 90% with Colarusso? I know, I should have faith in myself and I really do try my best to think positive, but no matter how hard I try, there's always this niggling fear at the back of my mind.

Maybe I can drop either accounting or economics so that I can spend more time doing math. But for the time being, I'll keep those courses and see how they go. BTW, I was one of the two that got the MC right on the acc quiz. Go me! But back to my real topic, I don't want to drop a course if I'll be leaving someone to do an ISP on their own. If I drop accounting, I risk the chance of ditching Peter. That is, unless he decides to drop too. If I drop economics, I risk the chance of ditching Fiona and I know she's not going to be dropping econ. *sigh* What to do, what to do?

Speaking of acc and econ, I know Ms. Rine thinks that I'm a good student and that she likes me but does she need to poke fun at me so often? Well, maybe if it was about another subject, then I wouldn't mind so much. But love, like and affections...those words cut deep. I guess it goes back to my whole insecurity/depression/loneliness issue. Is it smart to tease a person who has never had a bf but desperately wants one? *sigh* And if I blush when she says that, it's does not mean that I like Peter. On the contrary, it just reminds me of how I've never had a bf and that such teasing pretty much doesn't apply to me at all. Yes, yes, she's got a good heart, I understand but it's time to move on. I love the dude but...it's....him.... What can I say?

Speaking of love, I'm so sad that I probably won't have a date for prom. Not even one that will go with me as a friend. I mean, how pathetic is that? *sigh* I guess it's the whole growing up in Canada thing. I've been so wrapped up in North American culture and prom has always treated as the highlight of high school, that I've put a lot of importance into it and I want it to be perfect. And yes, perfect to me would include a date. Ideally, I'd like to go with a guy that I like but like that's ever gonna happen. So I'll settle with just going with a friend. Except...I don't have any friends who aren't already taken or who don't already have someone in mind that they'd like to go with. *sigh* It sucks to be the kind if girl that guys wanna "just be friends" with me. So...anyone reading this, if you know a guy who's sweet and available, tell him I need a date for the prom!

So tired, I've hardly gotten any sleep since second semester started. Darn first period class...grrrr! This week has been so much worse cuz I slept at like 4:30 Monday or Sunday night (can't even remember anymore) cuz I was talking on the phone and that has just totally messed up my sleeping habits for the rest of the week. I always say that I will correct it come weekend time but like that ever happens. Anyways, time for me to stop wasting time blogging and start spending time doing homework! Darn that homework!

posted by j.why @ 10:29 PM