This is my space and these are my thoughts

have you ever noticed that once someone becomes unavailable or when you know that they like someone, they take on a whole new....i dunno...they seem different to you? Has that ever happened? I don't know...lately a few of my frens have gotten girlfriends and boyfriends and u know, u just start noticing things about them that you've never noticed before. I guess...until you realize that they have the capability of liking someone, there's this aspect of them that stays hidden from you. Everything stays so platonic until you realize that they are MALES and some people actually see potential in them to be boyfriends! Really, I'm not saying that my guy friends aren't boyfriend material. It's just that I don't see them as bf material because they're my friends and nothing else. As for the girls, I'm so totally jealous! But back to the guys, once I found out they are going out with someone/like someone, I guess I start noticing things about them that I never noticed before.

*sigh* I'm so...lonely. Honestly, am I really such a bad person that no one can like me? Are guys really so shallow that they can't look past my physical appearance and see the person I am inside? Or am I really a bad person on the inside too? Birthday's coming up. I'm supposed to become an adult but there seems to be so much that I still haven't done with my life. So far, it seems like I've totally wasted my life....never had a job, never had a boyfriend, what have I done for my community? nothing...*sigh* oh the joys of being me.

btw, here's another birthday idea for anyone reading (hm...is it really only one person that reads this?). This is something that people don't seem to know. Mainly cuz the group of people I hang out with now didn't know me well back when I pretty much announced it to the world. Anyway, I like flowers. I love flowers. They're so...pretty and the petals are so silky. Hehe, I know...I'm a mushy person at heart, what can I say? *sigh* haven't gotten any in a while tho...hmm....my dream? the have a bouquet of blue roses from a fob store. Honestly, they are so beautiful!

Ok...keep fit and have fun.

posted by j.why @ 10:26 PM