This is my space and these are my thoughts

Ok...what to write about today? I had to make up a lab for chemistry today and I'm scared that it won't work and I'll get a zero. It's bad enough that my test was horrible, I don't need anything else to pull down my marks. I knew I could stir with the thermometer, that's what the teacher from the Upper Canada School Board said in his website. Yay, now we can stir and swish. Cryptic, non?

I've been in the worst of worst moods lately. I've tried to not talk about it, hoping it will go away but it doesn't. I just don't understand him. Is it really that hard to wait, say 15 minutes, for a bus? For goodness sake, it's like I'm being punished for wanting something that I used to have. I tried ignoring him today but I've never been one to run away from my problems so that didn't work, although confrontations don't work with him either. Perhaps a lot of it is in my head but geez, is it so hard to be a little more considerate when you know a friend is going through a hard time? Constantly reinforcing the fact that I can't trust you doesn't exactly restore that trust. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and depressed. I don't know. Are things different? I'm not so sure they are but it just doesn't feel the same. Every time I talk to him, I feel like I have to put up a fight. What happened to that natural flow?

I should keep this short. I need to read Ragtime and Amadeus. I'm so stressed about English but I don't know what I can do about it. I have no inspiration to write anything. The irony in that is that I find so much to write here and yet, nothing comes out when I sit in front of that blank word document. I don't think it will be a good idea to rant and rave in my personal writing, although he did say it could be about anything, in any format. I don't think online journal is one of those formats.

I want a divorce...no I don't...yes I do. Oh I don't know.

posted by j.why @ 11:51 PM