This is my space and these are my thoughts

Am I really just making up problems for myself when there really aren't any or are they there? I'm not so sure anymore about that. I still feel completely horrible but what is my exact problem? I can't even pinpoint it. A psychologist. It's a really tempting idea to go see one but what is the use? I once read an article that said that they really aren't much help. They basically feed off the misery of people so that they can charge big bucks and drive around in Benzes. A psychiatrist is the same thing with the added can that they pump you full of hormone supplement pills. Medicines bad for you. You should let their own body fend for itself. This is a lesson that I learned from my chiropractor.

This whole university thing has got me stressed out. What do I want to do? I don't know. Going to a career centre last year wasn't much help either. "Make a career in something you are interested in." Great...now I can wake up at 4am every morning and earn little money because I took their advice and became a baker. Or maybe I will become a teacher, those relentless fighters against the Ontario government and their strict money budgets. Lately I've been thinking about becoming a dermatologist. My dad really wants me to go into Life Sciences so why not go into something that I have a slight interest in? The thing is though, the whole specialization process will take me through even more years of school. The Chartered Accountacy at Waterloo sounds good...cept their cutoff rate is high 80s to low 90s. Good luck to me. Science and Business at Waterloo? Sounds really interesting to me but with a cutoff rate of high 70s even for the co-op one, it must not be a very good program....right?

I'm not sure the U fair was of much help. Sure...I picked up a whole lot of brochures to tons of universities but what is the point of that when I don't even know what I want to do? I truly, sickeningly envy those people who are so sure of their chosen path. They have everything planned out and they can devote themselves to gaining the necessary courses and experience for their chosen career. BTW, I'm still sad that I didn't get to get one of those pens from the UOIT.

Wow...a new university...that seems really cool. And every student that goes there gets a laptop too. I want a laptop. And one that they upgrade every two years...pure genius. They don't have very many courses though...I think it's a total of about ten. Pathetic, non? But they do have a B.Comm program there. Don't know what it will be like though. Aren't there always risks of attending a new something? I mean...look what happened with the new curriculum? Every single studnet in the first year (given the sickening endearment of the guinea pigs) is stressen out about it and pretty much hates it. So being the guinea pigs of the UOIT is like rubbing sand into an open wound.

One thing I've realized is that I'm not very good at writing short entries. Once I start writing, I just keep going. This is what happened with my diary too. And my hand always ended up in cramps afterward because I've been writing for so long. Maybe that's why I've only got about 15 entries in a diary that I've kept since grade 3. This is better and I type faster than I write too. Oh the joy.

Fashion club...I really want that to happen. Darn teachers don't want to do it anymore. Hopefully my idea will change their minds. Or maybe they can recommend another teacher that may be willing to be the supervisor. Anyways...I've been writing for about twenty minutes now. I think that's my cue to stop. Until next time...

posted by j.why @ 12:25 AM