This is my space and these are my thoughts

Well, another day, another entry. What to say today? Well actually, tonight was awards night at school. I got a Moderns (Mandarin) award and a Science (Biology) award. Go me! I've never gotten an award before, let alone two, so this was a very important thing for me. Unfortunate thing though that my parents did not consider it an event worth their time. This morning, on my way to school in my mother's car, I asked her whether or not I'd be expecting her at the ceremony tonight. The answer I got? "No, I'll be at work. Don't worry though, I'll go to your graduation." Hmm, nice to know my parents are so proud of me. I sure hope they won't miss my GRADUATION. So I had no one at the ceremony who was there just for me. Yes, a very sad fact. My friends wouldn't even come to see me. However, when I got home from the awards night, my dad seemed really interested in seeing my medallion and certificates. He sounded proud of me and my mom even wanted to see them too, except she didn't know where I put them (I told her they were on my desk but she thought I said the kitchen table). I guess that half made up for it.

Mmm, I really want a caramel toffee delato right now. Darn Tiffany, it's all her fault that I drink that now. It's so sweet but it's so good! Actually, I kinda miss my caramel caretto too. Yummy coffee. Speaking of, I haven't drank a cup of coffee in weeks. Every since I started having first and second period off, I haven't been drinking any. Mmm, hazelnut vanilla coffe, even if it's the diluted stuff from the caf. Not that I don't need any coffee but then I can't bring it into the library and I'm usually there finishing my homework and second. I really dont' know how this coffee addiction started. I used to hate the stuff. Then I started drinking it really sugared up. As in about ten sugars and five creams per small cup of coffee. Then for some reason, I started using less sugar and cream and now I'm down to a double double. Great, now I'm thinking about coffe and I want one except it's about midnight right now and I definitely won't be able to sleep if I drink one. Speaking of cravings, I finally had McDonald's today which I have been craving for for the last week or so. Yummy salty fries.

The thing is, when it comes to writing in a correct manner, with grammatically correct sentences and proper structures, I just can't do it right now. When it comes to spilling my thoughts, important or not, onto this site, it comes so naturally. English has really been getting to me lately. It seems like Mr. Best's class has no structure at all and I need that structure in order to focus on actually writing. Now with the due date on my major personal writing almost two full weeks away, I just can't focus on working on it. I'm so scared about English. I know Mr, Best is a hard teacher and it kinda makes me wish I had Beaton again even though I didn't really like him. At least, I did well in his class. I have a test tomorrow and I feel completely unready. The logical thing to do for any other subject would be the study like crazy, except it's practically impossible to study for English as the test is a sight passage and I won't know what to do until I see it.

The other day, I bought a Coles Notes on How to Get an A in Senior English Essays. I know it's kinda ridiculous to use one but I'm hoping reading it really would help. I also bought I another book on writing but I haven't really looked at that yet. I'm still deciding on whether or not I want to return it. Oh well. I still have one week.

I need a job. Not that I want one at all but I need experience and money and I'm scared I won't get into university without something to embellish my application form. All the programs I want to get into require such high marks, I don't think I'd be accepted to any of them and that really scares me.

I totally bombed my chem test today. For some reason, it feels like all the studying I did was completely useless. I know I did horribly on that test. I didn't know half of the multiple choice and I screwed up so many of the questions on the written part. *sigh* I almost cried after the test because I know I did so horribly on it. Why are the tests so much harder this year? I've been hearing from everyone, even the smartest ones in the grade, that they have been doing horribly on tests, finishing just in time, totally mixing up big questions, not knowing some of the stuff on the tests. The teacher's are against us. They don't want is to get into university. This is a conspiracy to make all grade 12's get low marks so that only OAC students would get into the good programs in university.

I think this should end now, I've been writing for a very long time. I haven't even gotten around to any whining and sulking yet today. I guess that will have to wait for another day.

posted by j.why @ 12:20 AM