This is my space and these are my thoughts

Ugh, I hate English. Ok, I don't hate it, per se, I just can't think of anyone to write for my personal writing at the moment. I've thought about this for a long time now but it's hard to come up with something to write about when I don't have a certain format to stick to and I don't have a certain subject to write about. Without any guidelines, I can't write. BTW, the notes for Ragtime and Amadeus are due in two weeks and I still haven't finished them yet. As a matter of fact, I've barely read the books, let alone write notes about them. the thing is with long deadlines is that no one really uses the time to their full advantage. Especially me, the Queen of all Procrastinators. Tiff Yau as this one sticker thing that really seems to fit me. It's say "I'll stop procrastinating...tomorrow." It's true, I do try to stop procrastinating but I just haven't gotten around to it.

I actually don't have much to write about today. I exhausted my brain trying to write English. As of this moment, I have 297 words worth of crap saved in Word as my personal writing. What to do? What to do? I'm getting off the computer at midnight today. I need to reserve an hour of my time before I go to bed to read Ragtime and Amadeus.

*sigh* I'm so sick of how my personal life is going. I'm afraid that if I think about it, I'll start crying again and I certainly don't want to cry about it. I can't help but feel as if my friendship with a certain someone (who shall remain unnamed because you know who it is) has changed drastically. I can't talk to him now without feeling scared that I will be rejected. And he doesn't joke with me like he used to anymore. I honestly miss talking to him on the phone. Now, whenever I can even get him on the phone, he always begs off almost right away and then I feel sad again because I've been rejected yet again. Today, I approached him in the library to ask whether or not he's planning on starting his AIA. After taking like 30 seconds to answer my questions, he shooed me away. Zero points for Julie, a million and one points for him. It's probably crazy how I care so much but I've lost so many friends over the last few years that I really don't want to lose another one. It drives me crazy how this isn't being solved. I can't get him on the phone to talk about it because he refuses to and when he does listen, he refuses to do anything about it.

I finally had my McDonald's today. And a caramel toffee delato. Definitely not healthy but definitely worth it. Haven't talked to Roger in ages but he came with us. Yay! Didn't get a ride home though. Boo. Not that I'm mooching off of him.

It was absolutely freezing today. I feel bad for dumcat who had to walk home with only a t-shirt and a sleeveless vest on, with a delato in hand. Once I got home, I climbed into bed and refused to get out for the next two hours. Then I had to get up and make rice. Boo again.

Two minutes before midnight. Time for me to sign off.

posted by j.why @ 12:04 AM