This is my space and these are my thoughts

Lalala, should be doing calculus now but I don't want to continue. Honestly, I wasn't mad on the phone, I just get really, and I mean really, frustrated when I try to learn over the phone. It just doesn't work for me and I get really irritated. Anyways, just finished my online economics quiz. I wish those things actually count as quizzes cuz you can get perfect easily on those. Just go back and redo the questions that you got wrong! Haha, you don't hafta submit ur mark until after you get your results. Anyways, I decided to fake a 90% instead of a perfect this time cuz there really were some questions that I didn't know and it'll just look too fake making it a perfect. Actually, my first time through that quiz, I got 50%! Shh....dun tell! Haha.

As materialistic as I'm about to sound, I really want to get my presents now even though it's a month after my birthday. Where's my Lilo & Stitch? Hehe:
Me: "How do you say 'family' again? O...o...what?"
dumcat: "O...osa....osama! Oh wait...Ohana!"
Me: "Haha! Osama means family!"
Aww...you know what I'm bitter about? People who keep saying they'll get you this and that and then never getting it for you. Honestly, right now, someone owes me tons of stuff! Fine, his grandma says he can't give people presents after their birthdays but what if it's not a birthday present? Like...my Christmas present! Actually, what's killing me more is that he says that he was gonna make me something for my birthday but now that I don't get it, I wanna at least know what it was that I was supposed to get! That mystery is killing me! Kinda like how curiosity killed the cat.

Ok...do I have messed up hormones or what? It's two weeks (only) after my last period and it's back already! Well, not full on heavy period, just very, very little, but it's still a period! ARG! I know it's not normal but I don't wanna take birth control pills. They're gonna give me cancer and then I won't be able to have children! I don't want to be barren! Ahhh!!

Anyways, responding to some tags, I'm not really letting them walk all over me. Actually, when I told them I had no money, they believed me but then I was like, "Meh, I'll 'chang' them this time." I didn't mind treating them, I would've if they'd asked me, it was the whole, having to trick me part that kinda bugged me. And yes, I am up late on weekends, but doing nothing. Blogging, neopetting, icqing (barely cuz most everyone's asleep or WC3ing), and I have my early Sunday morning cartoons. X-Men: Evolution at 3am and Jackie Chan Adventures at 3:30am. Waha! And yeah, I prolly will miss my dad if they don't allow flights but so far, they haven't restricted it that far, they've just recommended not travelling to infected places for the time being. Hmm....I think I shoulda asked my dad to get me a phone in HK. My phone always screws up. And mid-term isn't even here yet and I've already begun to slack off! Noo....this should be the time when I'm working the hardest to boost up my marks but it's just not happening. I'm completely discouraged after learning my data and calc results.

Ok, 2am, guess I'm not gonna finish calculus. Well, at least I did the sheet though it doesn't have any quotient rule stuff and has only one product rule question. Oh well, I'll cram tomorrow night. Thing is, I keep saying I'll cram tomorrow night but that never happens. And data, well...even if I did want to do it, I don't get it. At all. I'm gonna do so badly in Data!!! I feel like bawling like a baby.

Speaking of bawling like a baby, I was crying yesterday because these feelings of being underappreciated just completely washed over me. I dunno, it's like this: I turned 18. It's a milestone in my life and yet no one (ok barely anyone) cared enough to do anything about it, cept 3 people really. And I sound really juvenile saying this but everyone had a party thrown for them but I had nothing. No one cared enough to plan something for me, or to even get me a present. Ya know, this is one of the biggest moments of my life - I became an adult - and it was one of the blah-est b-days I've ever had. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bitter.

Feeling weird, haven't been in the mood to be productive lately. Haven't had a night when I actually finished all my homework in a while. Everyone's getting a new car! Can I join the trend and get a new car too? BTW, I went out and bought patterns for a prom dress today. Now my only problem is picking the one to make, making sure the tailor can actually make it in time, and making sure it fits. Aww...my favourite one of the patterns doesn't fit me! I thought I got the right size, the number was right, but I didn't realize that it was junior sizes, which meant that the measurements were all smaller! Hopefully, the tailor can fix that. But then again, that one's a puffy gown and won't those just make me look even shorter and fatter? *sigh* It sucks to be short and fat. Not much actually looks good on you.

Alright, enough wallowing in self-pity and being self-deprecating for one night. Time for me to ignore my homework and go to sleep.

Sweet dreams.

posted by j.why @ 2:23 AM